What should I do? How am I called to respond? More specifically, how do I mix my family's best interests and the interests of others?
My sweet brother just wrapped up a divorce. The kids and I have tried to help however we can, taking a trip down in February, and mostly just praying for him each night and repeating our offers to come down and help in any way he can think of.
My sweet friend's dad has been sick for a long, long time (7 years?), and now she's not only trying to wait patiently for God to give her her own heart's desires, but also she's taking care of her dad and aunt who's been near death and is 3 or so states away.
Our sweet violin teacher has had a very difficult summer, which is apparently culminating in a divorce from her husband of 28 years who will no longer speak to her and may have some psychological problems. Her mother is her only family and lives about 15 or so hours away.
All around us, people we know or know of die, are sick, lose jobs, lose time with their kids because of jobs, feel lonely, feel overwhelmed, feel lost, feel frustrated, feel unappreciated, are confused.
Pastor Bill talked today about true humility. It's considering others better than ourselves. That goes up against all the self-help advice of the day that tells us to be confident, self-assured, to hold our heads up, to believe in ourselves and our abilities. It flips it all around.
No, not like that.
Instead of thinking how important I am, how much I deserve a good life or my own free time or money or things, it's realizing that I am nothing without Christ. Nothing. All I'm entitled to is the punishment my sin rightly deserves.
Instead of looking down on others with a "bless her heart" attitude that, without the words, says that I'll never find myself in such a mess, like Paul, I need to see that I am no better than anyone, no matter how things appear, and I have the same desperate need for His saving grace.
God has made each of us, and no matter my personal situation, if I am to be more like Christ, I am to serve others - not myself. But only out of humility. All the kind words and selfless acts I can do add up to nothing if they're not rooted in Him - if they don't reflect my Creator - if they don't come from my love for others as His precious children, my brothers and sisters.
So how do I put it into action? I'm a doer. I'm Martha. Sitting at His feet to listen to Him doesn't come naturally to me. Maybe that's why I can't seem to hear what He's saying. I'm off in the kitchen chopping carrots for His dinner and can't hear His words of life over the sound of the knife hitting the counter. Hmm. Wonder if Martha served fried rice. It's a noisy meal to cook.
Back to the point. What do I do? How do I help? Because while I watch all these hurting people seem to crumble, I've got a family who needs me. Practically speaking, I've got a part-time job, a house to clean, 5 mouths to feed, naps to arrange, diapers to change, a husband to help, and, occasionally, a shower to take. But where's the line?
I want my kids to see my faith in relationships and in how I help others. Do I make choices that may sometimes be second best for the kids in terms of our budget or our schedules or our convenience because it helps a hurting friend? Or do I pray for the friend and just do what's best for the kids? Which is true humility? Going against my gut to serve my family or going against it to serve a hurting neighbor? (Because, honestly, my gut says to stay home on the couch.) What would the good samaritan have done if his kids had been strapped to the back of that mule?
What do you think?
2 comments:
Hey hon,
Mom here. What a good question! What would any of us do? Each situation needs it's own examination. The Good Sam didn't seem to hesitate. We don't know if he used his last coins to help the abused man. The bible is full of examples of giving. But it's hard when you're looking at the face of your own child and thinking of risking the money that may be needed for that unexpected emergency. We also know that God provides. Who among us has wondered where the money for that bill that is due is going to come and then unexpectedly recieved a check that was totally unexpected, be it insurance that you forgot about or a check from mom or dad, or a refund that you totally didn't know was coming?
Whatever you decide, let me know - maybe you'll help me to make my decision the next time such a situation comes up. In the meantime, pray, pray, pray!
Love you,
Mom
I loved your post. It was heartfelt. I have been and am going through some of the same questions in a different manner.
I feel like I can answer since you asked a question.
The Bible provides the best answers-last night I was reading 1 Timothy 2 and 3 and Paul makes it quite clear that you have to take care of your family first. No one will even trust your advice if your children are not bought up in the faith and correctly---I know this is for Deacons and Elders but I believe it applies to everyone especially people on the staff of a Church.
LA and I were talking yesterday afternoon that you could not trust a psychologist if his children are goofed up.
Christ gave the Pharisees a good scolding for depriving their parents (family) of money in order to give that money to the Church.
You have to let God lead you as He did when you went to Texas to try to help Ryan even if it got you out of your comfort zone and at least took time away from your hubby- but it was the right thing to do and you did it.
No one can solve all the problems or has the time and money to do so, so you have to pray(do not downplay the importance if you “just” pray) and care and love as you already do.
I would write more, but I have to go take care of my family.
I love you
Love and prayers DIL (dad in law)
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